Chances of Scattered Thoughts

I really really need to go pack. But right now really is the only free (with an emphasis on stress-free) time that I've been allowed this week.

The ACT went really wonderfully. The rest of the day was pretty fantastic too.

Right now, I am listening to A Drop In The Ocean. Very peaceful. Very comfortable.

"A drop in the ocean

A change in the weather

I was praying that you and me might end up together

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert

But I'm holding you closer than most,

Cause you are my heaven."

Sorry. :) It is just too beautiful of a song to not share.

I'll be honest, I feel like I don't know what to expect of the future. The future being the rest of this school year. And I'm thinking about this without being too worried. I'm thinking about it at the same time that I think of peace. Surprising. Usually I completely lose it when I am uncertain about what is coming.

But I am in a good place right now. Really. I've mentioned peace several times already in this post, it is just that everything keeps coming back to that. Breathe.

Sorry, mindthoughts glide about.

I'm slightly afraid of getting my ACT scores back. Just because the scores are going to be so public because we all took it together. Expectations. So many thoughts are tied to that word. Live up to them? Exceed them? Be a disappointment? That is a big fear of mine. Disappointing everyone. Disappointing myself.

There is something truer. There is some way that we can all know each other. As people. There is some way to understand others as you understand yourself. We're just not there yet. That isn't what our lives are about right now.

How honest am I being with you?

I just returned to the computer. I wrote everything above a couple of hours ago. So the rest of this may be different. I'm not even going to read what I wrote earlier.

I believe in you, you know. You are going to be something

Writing letters to yourself, or letters that only you will read, is so NOT like talking to people. Is that what books are? Is the author writing to you or to themselves and you are just along for the ride?

Love love love love,

Amanda.

(LP)